America plays monopoly, russia plays chess

America plays monopoly, russia plays chess

Image: woman’s house

Real game of thrones

In the exceptionalist kingdom whose disruptive development we chronicle, an invisible war still seems to be raging between king donald’s government and the masters of intelligence – and no one knows which way it’s going to go.

Long ago, when an iron curtain divided the world and no one knew exactly what was going on on the other side, there was a science that tried to find out what policies and plans were being hatched in the dark castle of the capital moscow. This science was called "kremlin astrology" and tried to interpret the future in a similar way to the astrologers, based on constellations and movements in the sky – based on changes and whims of the kremlin staff, which one wants to "apparatchiks" called. Since king donald, a seemingly unpredictable aubensider, has landed on the throne, the exceptionalist kingdom now has a science of "white house astrology" – the attempt to deduce donald’s next political moves from his cryptic twitter messages and other trivia.

The fact that the kremlin astrologers, who resided in the depths of the empire with the masters of intelligence, had no clue at that time that the object of their analyses, which they "the realm of the wicked" and they only got wind of it when the berlin wall fell, had permanently shaken confidence in the prophetic competence of the masters. To distract from this and to compensate for their incompetence, they had then set about all the more eagerly to install a willing puppet as king in this realm and were very proud when they had succeeded in doing so. With king boris, the "vodka containers" they had found an almost perfect candidate for their purposes.

How the cooperative vladimir became the aggressive ultrabose

These purposes were, of course, mainly to get hold of the treasures of the former "empire of the bose" which, in fact, was not evil at all, but on the contrary had the largest mineral reserves in the world. Oil, gas, metals, rare earths … A third of all the world’s raw materials lay beneath its soil, and whoever – like the exceptionalist kingdom with its "full spectrum dominance"-doctrine – to dominate the whole globe, had to somehow get these treasures under his control. They were primarily camped out in a region that was "siberian treasure chest" and was hardly developed.

Since king boris had no money to build the necessary mines and rigs, the exceptionalists offered him a deal: we will provide you with all the necessary equipment, and it won’t cost you a kopeck. In return we will demand oil and gas for 25 years, after that the facilities will be yours. But because they are so terribly expensive, we can not pay a cent for the oil at this time.

Since king boris was constantly in a daze, he signed the contract. And because he couldn’t calculate, he loved to get ripped off mercilessly in this deal. After all the vodka had made him completely insane, a new king was needed and with vladimir, who was also called "putin" vladimir, who was also called vladimir, came to the throne as a blank slate. All that was known was that he was employed as an agent in the eastern part of the then still divided empire of the present queen angela, and that there he was – like angela once was – a so-called "agent" "fdj secretary for propaganda" – the eastern ruler erich i. Had served.

Since work is considered a suitable prerequisite for the masters of intelligence in all countries, vladimir was generally accepted as a suitable and capable king after his accession to the throne, even by the representatives and merchants of the exceptionalist kingdom, who eagerly offered their cooperation. But this sympathy did not last long, because when waldimir discovered the agreements made under the befuddled boris, he could hardly believe his eyes. They obliged him to give away the raw materials of his empire for a quarter of a century, in order to get in the end a few rusty towers above drained wells for it.